Why Solitude Makes a Good Friend
It is New Years Eve of 2018 and I’m sitting on a zafu in a dimly light meditation hall. My new home is the Manresa Jesuit…
3 minute read
It is New Years Eve of 2018 and I’m sitting on a zafu in a dimly light meditation hall. My new home is the Manresa Jesuit Retreat House in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. It was built to help people grow in their spiritual life by offering group & individual retreats. I am just one of many guests who have come through it’s doors and for the next ten-days I will do something even more difficult than the endurance challenges I so willingly throw myself into.
Instead of movement, I will be still. Really, really still. Like, so still I can’t scratch an itch or move my leg when it starts to fall asleep. Like, if this was a sport, I’d be earning my black belt in solitude. For the next ten-days I adhere to “noble silence”. There will be no reading or writing, no phone calls or internet, no exercise or movement. No words spoken and eye-contact made to other guests. Just me & my zafu for 12 hours a day in silence. By myself. With myself.
Why would someone want to do that to themselves?
Because I have been there before – in 2010 rowing solo across the Atlantic – with no follow boat or outside assistance for a total of 70 days alone at sea, I am familiar with what can happen in solitude. What can be labeled as social isolation, also considered the cruelest form of punishment, can be something else. Something greater. Something that can lead to a life filled with more meaning and purpose.
If there is one silver-lining to COVID-19, it would be the opportunity to reconnect with yourself. To make friends with the pause and carry from it lessons into the future. Perhaps now, as we being to re-engage with our world once again with businesses re-opening and travel restrictions being lifted, is the time to look back at how time with yourself is valuable.
Here are some of the benefits I have discovered by spending time with myself:
Room for creative energy & innovation
If anyone says, “I feel bored”, tell them “that is GREAT!” Often times the most creative ideas come after periods of boredom or stagnation. As someone who loves crafting, I usually find I have energy after times of this open space. After-all, it’s much easier to paint on a blank canvas than one that is already full.
Room to be a sponge.
Soak in new books. Soak in interesting podcasts. Soak in thought-provoking documentaries. Be a sponge to the infinite possibilities to learn and expand your knowledge. You can soak it all up, or you can let it all out by writing, setting goals & intentions, reflecting, and listening to that little voice inside that can be hard to hear with so many distraction and so much noise. We might be called to do something but we might not sit still long enough to hear what that voice is saying.
Room for deeper relationships.
Every day we engage in interactions with one another, whether it be at work or simply running errands. When these interactions are no longer automatic, they become more intentional. You have the ability to choose how you invest in your relationships. You can develop even more gratitude for those relationships when unable to freely engage.
Empty space can actually make room to uncover and discover more. One of the greatest lesson I have learned from spending time with myself is recognizing how truly connected we are. Even in the middle of an ocean, thousands of miles away from other human beings, I felt connected when visited by the dolphins, dorados, tea turtles and sharks. Or it could be when seeing an airplane cross the sky above me. Just knowing that every morning we all would be sharing the same sunshine and every night we would be looking at the same stars made me feel connected during one of the most isolating times of my life.
I hope you, too, have appreciated how we are all but a moment and a memory away from those we dearly cherish and love. Nothing can take away from the interconnectedness we all share as fellow human and journeyer’s in this thing called life.
You are truly never alone.
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5 Notes on Nature
During this period of being indoors, I am finding there is no better time than now to slow down, reflect, and celebrate…
7 minute read
During this period of being indoors, I am finding there is no better time than now to slow down, reflect, and celebrate the lessons nature is willing and able to teach us. The only requirement on our part is that we are still enough to listen.
Heading into Earth Day, I want to share a few ways I have been a student to nature and the ways it has opened my eyes and my heart.
1. Nature reminds to just breathe in
Air tastes the best in nature. When I am engulfed in fresh, clean air, I am immediately reminded of the joy and pleasure it provides in just one inhale. I want to slow down to breathe a little deeper and savor each moment a little longer. Nature taught me to breathe with my full capacity that leads me to a state of calmness and contentment.
Similarly, our bodies respond to smell in a powerful way. Is there a scent that instantly takes you to a place and time? Maybe it’s the odd, yet comforting, aroma of old books and warm sugar cookies that transports you back to grandma’s house as a child. For me, if I’m driving past a farm, I can instantly be brought back to days of cycling through the rolling countryside while on a cross country trek across America. Or when I am in a seafood restaurant, I am suddenly transported to the middle of the ocean on my rowboat named Liv. Scent doesn’t just smell good, it feels good too because it reconnects us and our bodies to fond memories.
Enjoy the power of breath by simply inhaling deeply or by lighting a candle. It’s an instant way to transport us to places away from wherever here currently is.
“Scent doesn’t just smell good, it feels good too because it reconnects us and our bodies to fond memories.”
2. Nature teaches adaptability
The perfect orchestra is nature. Stay with me for a moment. The flowers are not worried about the cadence of the rain or when that bee is arriving to spread its pollen. The trees aren’t worried about the changing tempo of the seasons and how they will get through winter. The orchestra’s maestro, the sun, isn’t worried about throwing off the group by rising too early or falling to soon. Why? Because nature knows how to adapt.
Adaptability is a choice we can make. Every. Single. Day. It’s a difficult skill to master and something I’ve improved on as a result of time and patience. Every adventure challenged me to adapt, like building up calluses in my hands to manage 10 hours of rowing a day or my feet adapting to the pressure of running countless steps for marathons. Run4Water will bring new challenges and I welcome, not combat, the ways in which I will need to adapt to be in sync with my body, mind and surroundings.
3. Nature reminds things start small and grow mighty
Imagine you are in a forest and engulfed by redwoods. These massive trees are wider than you are tall and they envelope you in a way that you can barely make out their tops as they touch the clouds. Can you believe they can weight 1.6 million pounds?!
Now, imagine that in your hand you have a seed that is 1/100 the size and weight of a coin. That one, small seed has the power to become the very mighty forest in front of you. But the forest got to where it is through small, gradual steps.
Nature looked really big when I was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I was half-way through a 70 day crossing by myself in a rowboat with 1,500 miles from land on either side of me. Typically, I feel elated and excited to reach the half-way mark on an endurance adventure. But this time I was not. The ocean looked too big, and I felt too small. I wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits.
In this moment is where a shift in perspective was pivotal. I told myself I would not row 3,000 miles, but instead 1 mile, 3,000 times. Having this mindset allowed me to go further than what I thought was possible.
The vastness of nature reminds us that big projects and ideas start small like seedling of a redwood but can grow into something mighty with incremental effort.
“The ocean looked too big, and I felt too small. I wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits.”
4. Nature instills humility
Whenever we hear stories in the news about adventurers, we often hear about how a person conquered nature. This headline could not be further from the truth though. All it took for nature to put me in my place was almost getting struck by a lightning bolt while on a long-distance cycling journey! It left an imprint on me, literally, as the bolt was so close it was difficult to immediately regain vision in my right eye after it had happened.
Nature is completely capable of making us humble and there is something beautiful about that realization. We don’t need to fight that fact, and once we accept it, we can be left filled with gratitude and awe to experience its power and for what it has given us. Moral of the story is to stay grounded. In my particular case, that required being grounded in more than one way (because of the lightning).
5. Nature evokes a sense of wonder
“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself”.
Don’t you just adore this quote? Natures does not need an audience but it is always willing to show us something new the moment we let it guide us.
Most times when I go for my long runs, I don’t specifically plan my route and let nature and my curiosity take the wheel. Venturing off the beaten path has resulted in some of my all-time favorite experiences. There was the time running through the dry and arid Mojave that I stumbled upon an oasis filled with bright neon-green palm trees surrounding a small pond. Or the time I stumbled upon hot springs and gave myself a nice little foot bath to calm my feet. It’s amazing how I was provided just what I needed in those moments.
Because of these experiences, I am not afraid to take detours with my runs or even in life. I never know what I’m going to find, or what I will find in myself, but I have faith I will be provided for.
“I never know what I’m going to find, or what I will find in myself, but I have faith I will be provided for.”
Enough talk about nature, let’s go outside and enjoy all that it has to offer.
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